


Where the Love Light Gleams

by ArchangelEquinox



Series: Lights, Camera, Inquisition [3]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reality Show, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Family Fluff, First Christmas, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Satinalia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-19
Updated: 2017-01-06
Packaged: 2018-09-09 22:32:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8915548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArchangelEquinox/pseuds/ArchangelEquinox
Summary: Months after the show ends, Cullen and Talia go home to Ferelden to spend Satinalia with Mia Rutherford and the rest of Cullen's family.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know I haven't updated The Real World: Skyhold in forever, but the idea for some Christmas/Satinalia fluff struck, and I wasn't able to resist. Hope it is a suitable apology for the hiatus! Enjoy, and thanks for reading!

_Sometime before the end of the show…_

Cassandra gave him a tight-lipped smile as she stepped out of the room, and Cullen headed inside.  He’d talked to Mia several times since his stint in the hospital, but that never made his initial anxiety any easier to overcome.  That deep-seated fear of hurting his family still reared up at every opportunity. 

Thankfully, Mia never seemed interested in berating him for his years-long absence from the Rutherford clan after that first phone call from the show.  Since then, they’d developed something akin to their old closeness, a fact Cullen suspected had something to do with his personal life being available on national television so Mia could keep an eye on him.  Even so, he didn’t mind; if he could make amends with Mia, he could make amends with anyone in his family.  Even Branson. 

Owen picked up when Cullen called, his gruff voice warming as they chatted about the upcoming start of the rugby season and whatever oddities Owen was up to with his job as a contractor.  Before long, Cullen could practically hear Mia vibrating with excitement behind her husband, and he laughed as Owen turned the phone over. 

Mia, enthusiastic as always, exclaimed over how cute he and Talia were on the show before interrogating him about his health.  She didn’t seem to need to breathe between questions, and Cullen rattled off answers as fast and evasively as possible.  Any information at all was too much for his sister, in his mind. 

It wasn’t until Mia told him about her upcoming bedrest, which she was going to use to plan out the holidays, that Cullen had to slow her down. 

“Hang on, Mia.  Why are you planning out Satinalia now? It’s not for almost five months.” 

His sister huffed.  “The babies are due in six weeks, Cullen, and I don’t think Owen and I will get to sleep again until Firstfall.  I have to plan things now so I can actually be ready.” 

He rolled his eyes.  “Sounds like overkill, Mi.”  Her childhood nickname had come rolling off his tongue one conversation a few weeks back and stuck around.  That she hadn’t immediately vetoed its use was testament to the renewed comfort of their relationship.

“Sure, to you,” she replied.  “But if Talia’s coming, you need to know the details.” 

“Wait, what?”  He vaguely remembered Talia teasing him about Mia inviting her for the holidays, but he’d naturally assumed she was kidding.  Or that he’d been hallucinating.  He’d only been home for a few hours at the time; it wasn’t out of the question.  “Did you really invite her?” 

“Of course I did, I want to meet her!” Mia cried, like she couldn’t imagine a stupider question.  “And when I can give her a real hug instead of maneuvering around this beach ball in my stomach!” 

Cullen groaned.  “I get that, but Satinalia?  Isn’t that a little… far off to be making plans with her?” 

Mia’s voice took on that deadly monotone he remembered so well.  “What are you trying to say, Cully?”

“Mi, it’s just that…”  He sighed.  “I don’t know where I’m going to be for Satinalia.  Some years I have to work, or I volunteer to take shifts for people with kids or something.  For Maker’s sake, it’s only Solace!" 

“So?” 

He shook his head, painfully aware that she couldn’t see him.  That it had been more than two years since she’d seen him.  “So… what if she gets sick of me, Mia?  I’m not easy to get along with, you know that.  Or what if we can’t figure anything out after the show?”   

His sister didn’t reply, just let silence hang between them.

“What if she realizes what a mess I am and doesn’t want to be with me?”  His voice trailed off as he finished, that fear still burning in his gut out in the open air now. 

When Mia spoke, her voice was quiet and resigned, as though she’d thought he might turn self-destructive and upset like so many times before.  “Cullen.  Don’t say that about yourself.” 

“It’s the truth, Mi,” he snapped before he could stop himself.  “I stayed away for so long because I didn’t want to subject anyone to my problems.  I didn’t want to hurt anyone.”  He ran a hand over his forehead.  “I still don’t.” 

He heard Mia sigh.  “And where’s that gotten you?” 

“What?” 

“Where’s that running away from us gotten you, Cullen?”  Her voice was harder now.  “It’s been years since we’ve seen you, and we miss you.  Bran won’t admit it, but he does, and your nephew doesn’t even know he has an uncle.  No one cares if you have problems, we all do.  Don’t you think we could help?  That having your family around might be a good thing?” 

“I don’t know,” Cullen admitted, his chest full of the same ache of guilt and anxiety he’d been fighting off for years.  “I haven’t always been in my right mind, Mia.  I don’t want to put you through that.” 

“That’s what family is for, Cullen,” Mia told him softly, the harshness gone from her voice.  “We take care of you when you’re down and all that.” 

He didn’t answer. 

 “And I’ve seen you with Talia on that show,” she added softly.  “You’re kind, Cullen.  You take care of people.  From your own mouth, I’ve heard you say you want to be better.  Don’t discount all that.” 

 Silence again stretched between them. 

“Please come home for Satinalia.” 

He sighed.  “Mia…” 

“Please?”  Whining was sneaking into her voice, and Cullen smiled to himself. 

“All right.”  He had to hold the phone away from his ear to avoid being deafened by her delighted squealing. 

“And bring Talia! Everyone wants to meet her!” 

He chuckled a little at the prospect of Talia being smothered by the Rutherford clan.  “I’ll try, I promise.” 

“You aren’t going to dump her, are you?”  She’d suddenly turned suspicious, and Cullen rolled his eyes.  Too many dramatic shifts and emotional outburst for one conversation. 

“Maker’s breath, of course not.  I just… Like I said, I –”

“I know, I know,” Mia interrupted.  “You don’t know where you’ll be.  But you’ll still be together, so bring her along.” 

“It’s a long time from now. Don’t be surprised if she dumps me in the meantime,” he replied, trying to sound flippant.  It wasn’t working. 

Mia paused before answering, sounding annoyed.  “Don’t be stupid, Cullen, she loves you.” 

For a moment, there was silence.  Cullen could feel the shimmery memory of falling asleep next to Talia rising up in his mind, those words he thought he heard but was never sure they weren’t just the pipedream of a desperate, broken, lonely man. 

Plus, Mia had never even met Talia, only spoken with her in the midst of those horrible days he spent in the hospital – how could she know how the woman felt about him? 

But he trusted his big sister, now more than ever in spite of years of running away to avoid causing his family pain.  Mia wouldn’t say anything she thought might hurt him. 

When Cullen didn’t answer, Mia spoke again, her voice soft.  “Trust me, Cullen.  Be with her, and it doesn’t matter where else that leaves you.” 

From across the continent, Cullen smiled.  Deep down, that’s what he thought too, even if he was still too cowardly to admit it.  “Okay,” he said softly, though whether to himself or to his sister, he wasn’t sure.  “On that note, I have someone I need to talk to.  Call you soon?” 

Mia’s whole demeanor brightened.  “Isn’t that show over before long?” 

“Two weeks, yes.” 

“Plan to visit when you’re done.  Your niece and nephew will be here soon.” 

He smiled.  “I will.  Be well, Mi.” 

“You too, Cully.”  She hung up, leaving Cullen sitting with the phone in his hand and a smile on his face. 

He stepped outside the little room to find Talia sitting on the floor, a book open in her lap as she read.  She glanced up as soon as he opened the door, a smile across her face, and Cullen couldn’t help but smile back. 

“Hi,” she said softly.  “I know it’s stupid, but… I missed you.” 

Cullen reached down to pull her to her feet, inadvertently bringing her crashing against his chest.  “I missed you too.”  It had been maybe two hours since they climbed out of bed together, but that didn’t change the ache in his chest whenever they were apart.  Talia tugged him down to meet her, her lips already parted in a warm kiss, and for a few moments, he lost himself in that little bubble of happiness that followed her wherever they went. 

“Come home with me for Satinalia,” he asked when they parted, brushing his lips over her ear as he hugged her.    

She pulled back to look at him, one hand curled into his hair.  “What?” 

“Satinalia,” he repeated, feeling warmth rise in his face.  “Mia wants to meet you, and she wants me to visit, and I… I want you to come with me.” 

“Cullen, I…”  Talia glanced away, biting her lip, and his heart slowed in his chest.  After all that reassurance…

“I’ve never had a real Satinalia before,” the woman in his arms admitted quietly, and he couldn’t help how relief crashed over him. 

“All the more reason,” he replied, pulling her closer.  “Come home with me.  Mia will cook I’m sure, and Owen is a really nice guy, plus she’ll have had the babies by then so you can… actually I don’t know what you do with babies, but they’ll be there, and probably everyone else too.”  He watched trepidation mix with hope on her face, and smiled broadly.  The more he talked about it, the more he missed those holidays from his childhood, everyone shouting and laughing and enjoying just being together.  He hadn’t attended a holiday like that in decades. “It’ll be fun, I promise.” 

Talia gently extricated herself from his arms.  “I’m sure it will, Cullen, I just don’t… I’m not good with families.  Mine never got along, and once I left home I never really celebrated the holidays.  Every once in a while, Will and I would get together and get really wasted, but that doesn’t really count, and I…”  She paused in her pacing, her eyebrows knitting as she watched him.  “What?” 

Cullen smiled.  “You didn’t say anything about us not being together.” 

Those little lines scrunched across her forehead.  “Why would I… Oh, Maker, Cullen, I didn’t mean to assume, I just…”

“No, no,” he interrupted, smile widening until it hurt his cheeks.  “That’s… I want…”  He swallowed, knowing he was blushing and not caring.  “I’m glad.” 

To his relief, Talia smiled too.  “Me too.”  She stepped forward carefully, fingertips running along his arm.  “We’ll figure that out, right?  What comes after?” 

“I’d like that.”  He caught her hand and pulled her close, leaning his forehead against hers.  “I have never felt anything like this.” 

“Neither have I.”  She sighed quietly, and Cullen let his eyes drift closed.

They could do this.  He had no idea how, or for how long, or what might be asked of them in the future.  But standing here, with her warm and safe in his arms and a thousand possibilities stretching out before them, he knew they could do it. 

“Come home with me for Satinalia,” he repeated quietly, voice thick with everything he couldn’t say just yet.  “Please.  Come home with me.” 

She kissed him softly.  “Of course, Cullen.” 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently I'm incapable of writing something without a little angst :)

_Five months later…_

Cullen would be home any minute, Talia realized with a sigh as she tried to decide where to hang the stockings in her hands.  His tiny apartment didn’t have anything remotely like a mantle, so she settled on the knobs of the cabinets in the kitchen.  The bright red and green fabric would at least look festive. 

She’d been working all afternoon, the kitchen counter overflowing with cheap Satinalia decorations purchased from the store around the corner.  For the first time in her life, she had a place to spend the holiday, and even if they were only staying one more night here before they left for Fereldan, she wanted it to be as cozy as possible. 

Cullen deserved no less. 

She’d just stepped back to the sink and started peeling potatoes when she heard the key in the door.  A smile crept across her face; she hadn’t told him she was decorating, and she couldn’t wait to see what he thought. 

 “You decorated,” was all he said, but the awe in his voice and the grin on his face said it all. 

Talia smiled back.  “I hope you like it,” she said.  “I wasn’t sure how you felt about wreaths and twinkling lights and whatnot.” 

He pressed a kiss to her cheek as he shrugged off his coat.  “I love it all.”  Talia grinned.  She’d strung white lights around the living room furniture, setting the tiny potted evergreen aglow.  A small Chantry sunburst sat on top of the ‘tree,’ and a series of enormous red bows looped around the chairs of Cullen’s kitchen table.  Even his bedroom door looked festive, wrapped in silver and gold paper to look like a present. A giant evergreen wreath completed the décor, dribbling needles on the floor from its perch on the bookshelf.    

It rather looked like a holiday shop had thrown up in his living room, if she were honest, but she didn’t mind.  Anything was worth it to see Cullen smile like that. 

He wandered the room, gently touching the lights and tree as if he couldn’t quite believe they were real before he turned a shining smile back to her.  “You didn’t have to do all this,” he said softly. 

“I wanted to,” Talia replied.  “We’re going to your family’s tomorrow, but that’s no reason we shouldn’t have a Satinalia of our own here.” 

He pulled her into an enormous hug.  “Thank you.”  Kissing the top of her head, he abruptly let her go.  “I need to go shower though.” 

Talia raised an eyebrow at him.  “Madness on the streets?” 

He chuckled as he headed toward the bathroom.  “Some moron thought it was a good idea to douse the cops in eggnog and food coloring when we tried to search his house.”  Talia made a face at the idea before her interest was piqued as Cullen tugged his shirt – stained an odd color, she noted – over his head. “I rinsed at the precinct, but I’m pretty sure I can still smell it in my hair.” 

“Sounds festive,” she said, laughing. He smiled over his shoulder before disappearing into the bedroom. 

She went back to the recipe she’d been avoiding, some Fereldan stew that Mia had sent her.  Talia had her doubts, what with the abundance of carrots and potatoes as well as the entire pint of beer it called for, but whatever.  Starting tomorrow, they’d be eating at the mercy of Cullen’s sister, so she was willing to try it. 

Her thoughts wandered as she worked, wondering what Satinalia with his family would be like.  She hadn’t had a really family holiday in decades, and despite how well everything was going between the two of them, she wasn’t sure how she felt about meeting everyone else. 

And things between them had been going really, really well.  They had alternated travelling the past four months since the show ended, trying (when they could) to see each other every two weeks.  Talia often brought her work with her when she visited or spent her time looking for other jobs closer to Kirkwall.  Cullen’s workaholic habits had prevented him taking a vacation since he left the Templars, so he had days upon days available and finally a reason to use them.  Once he’d even come down for an entire week just to hang out on her couch and watch bad sitcoms with her, the two of them laughing away at every stupid situation that could have been solved with a cell phone. 

She couldn’t remember a happier time in her life. 

Cullen emerged from the bedroom just as Talia set the stew to simmering.  "Perfect timing," she announced, checking the heat one last time. 

"Smells good," Cullen murmured, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her back against his chest.  Talia leaned against him, chuckling.  Of course the Fereldan thought it smelled good, and it wasn't even cooked yet. 

"It needs about an hour to finish up," she told him, tilting back until she could kiss his chin. 

He smirked down at her.  "I wonder how we'll fill the time," he said, bending to press a kiss just behind one ear.  A quick flick of his tongue over her skin sent Talia shivering. 

"Oh, I had a thought or two," she said, twisting around to drape her arms around his neck.  She leaned in, pressing kisses up his chest until she could lick a line up his throat. 

"Oh yeah?"  He shivered as her breath grazed his ear. 

"We have presents to wrap."  Talia pulled back, a wide grin plastered across her features, and bounded away into the living room, leaving Cullen to hang his head and follow. 

"Tease," he muttered as he took a seat on the little gray couch.

"You love me," she replied, wiggling her eyebrows, and he laughed. 

"I really do."  He scrubbed a hand through his still-damp hair.  "Now what's this about presents?"   

Talia plopped herself down onto the living room floor, pulling a bag of unwrapped gifts toward her.  "Well, considering that you didn't wrap anything before I got here, and I still need to wrap my stuff for your family, we have some work to do before we leave tomorrow." 

Cullen studied the bag of gifts and the wrapping paper beside it like he'd never considered this before.  "Maybe spending Satinalia with my family was a mistake," he grumbled, getting off the couch to come sit beside her.  "I never had this much work to do before." 

Talia just rolled her eyes and passed him the first item from the bag, a set of Kentside Estate DVDs he’d bought for Mia.  He accepted them dutifully, and they set to work. 

The process went slowly.  Talia flew through her small pile of gifts for Cullen’s family– she’d mostly bought gift cards to movies and nice restaurants since she didn’t know them well – and turned to find that Cullen had somehow managed to get tape in his hair.  Already.  A grown man. 

“Uh, Cullen… you okay over there?”  She asked, trying not to laugh. 

He snorted but didn’t look up.  “I am fine,” he grumbled.  “If I could just get this paper to behave…”  She watched with amusement as he tried to fold the shiny paper over the edge of the history book he’d bought his brother and managed to tear it at the corners.  Growling low in his throat, he tried again, only this time to manage to tape his fingers to the book before tearing the paper again.  “Blast it!” 

He ran a hand through his hair, neatly depositing another piece of tape in his curls, before he glanced over at her.  “Help?” 

Talia slid the book from under his palm and started fixing the wrapping.  “Of course.  I’ll wrap, you label?” 

“Assuming I can spell their names right,” he groused, picking up a pen and a roll of labels festooned with reindeer and penguins.

“I have faith in you,” she replied, reaching up to pluck the tape from his hair.  With a smile, she handed him the now perfectly wrapped book.  He gave her a dirty look. 

After that, things went much more smoothly.  Cullen assured her that Mia would love the tiny boots and hats she’d bought for the twins, which she slid into a much larger basket filled with lotion, face masks, and other spa-type items for his sister.  He in turn dug up a card to put Owen’s rugby tickets in, adding a note that he’d happily attend if Owen wanted company. 

Before long, they’d moved on the presents for their friends, both from the show and off it.  Talia was delighted to discover they’d both purchased massive quantities of maraas-lok for Bull, which made up for the fact that Cullen had given Cassandra a kit for cleaning her gun, already ‘wrapped’ and awaiting her arrival at the precinct for her Satinalia Eve shift the next day. 

“I was counting on you taking my gift to her,” she grumbled, passing Cullen an enormous hard-bound book.  “I might not see her this trip.”

“I can still do that,” he insisted, though Talia rolled her eyes.  Next up was Dorian, and Talia laughed when Cullen accused her of copying her ideas for Mia, as she put together a remarkably similar spa treatment basket for her best friend. 

“Whatever, he’ll love it,” she insisted, using scissors to curl the ribbons she’d looped over the lotion bottle.  “What’d you get him?” 

Cullen didn’t reply, and Talia glanced over to find him rubbing the back of his neck, his cheeks pink. 

“Cullen,” she laughed.  “What’d you get him? Oh, was it this?”  She reached into the bag and pulled out a long, unlabeled box.  “What is it?” 

Cullen blushed harder at the sight of it. “Nothing,” he mumbled, reaching for it quickly, but Talia leaned out of his reach (barely). 

“You’re embarrassed!  Cullen, what is it?” 

“Nothing!” He insisted, now attempting to crawl over her after the box.  Talia wiggled out from under him and leapt away, fingers already worrying at the tab to open it.  “Oh, Maker preserve me,” he mumbled from the floor.  

After a moment of fiddling with it, Talia managed to get the box open.  She peaked inside, paused to give Cullen a confused look, and then peaked again. 

“You have got to be kidding me.” 

“Unfortunately, I am not.” 

“Where did you even…” 

“The internet.” 

Talia gave him a hard look before she reached in slowly, Cullen’s eyes following every move.  “You bought him this,” she said, pulling out a hot pink dildo.  “Off the internet.” 

Her boyfriend nodded, face redder than the holiday bows around them. 

“Oh Maker,” she managed as she roared with laughter, brandishing it at him like a weapon.  He recoiled.  “Maker, why? I mean, it’s amazing, of course, but… why??”   

Cullen snatched it from her before realizing and nearly dropping it, scrambling for the box as he went.  “It was on his wish list,” he said as he shoved it safely home. 

Talia collapsed to the floor next to him, still laughing.  “No it wasn’t!” 

“I must have bought it and it vanished.” 

“Cullen, seriously,” she insisted, finally getting herself under control.  “Dorian and I made our Satinalia lists together over the phone.  A hot pink sparkly dildo was definitely not on his.” 

He tossed the understandably plain box back into the bag and wrapped his arm around her to pull her close.  “I swear.  Do you really think I’d have bought that if I didn’t know Dorian wanted it?” 

Talia had her doubts about Cullen’s ability to perform such a prank. 

“No, I just…”  An idea occurred to her.  Cullen might not do such a thing, but Dorian definitely would.  “Hang on.  What email address did you search?” 

“His normal one,” Cullen replied, tone clearly suggesting this was a wasted investigation.  “Granted, it’s some nonsense from when he was at university, but it seemed to fit that he still uses it.” 

“Nonsense?”  This she had to hear. 

He rolled his eyes.  “It was e-zluvr18 or something.”  Talia waited for him to blush or break or _something_ , but it didn’t happen. 

Finally she twisted around to look at him, fingers searching for the warmth of his chest.  “How can you say that with a straight face?  That’s the most ridiculous email address I’ve ever heard!” 

“Hence why it fits Dorian,” he explained, leaning back against the couch and taking her with him. 

“You know that’s fake, right?”  He snorted, and Talia couldn’t help but laugh.  “No, I’m serious.” 

He gave her a concerned look.  “You think?” 

“Um, duh?  His email is dpavus@gmail.” 

There was a long moment of silence before Cullen said, “Excuse me.”  He clambered off the floor, leaving Talia to giggle as she watched him search for his phone.  Dorian was in so much trouble. 

Twenty minutes and one very loud, annoyed conversation later, she and Cullen were again sitting on the couch, this time balancing the results of Talia’s stew experiment as an old holiday movie played in the background.  The food was surprisingly good, especially if Cullen’s hungrily scarfing it down were any indication. 

When they’d finished – and Cullen had gone back for seconds, prompting Talia to call this recipe a success – Cullen pulled her down to lay with him on the couch.  She went happily, threading their fingers together as she rested her head on his chest.  This was so often her favorite part of being with him: that they could relax and just enjoy the moment together.  It was something she hadn’t expected to find on a reality show, perhaps ever, and nothing in the world would make her give it up. 

Between the food, the movie, and the space heater of a man curled up around her, Talia was having trouble keeping her eyes open.  They needed to finish packing still, and Maker knew they should sleep in his bed as opposed to on the couch like teenagers, but that didn’t mean much to the sleepy warmth settling over her. 

She should have been nervous about meeting his family the next day, but she’d talked to Mia often in the months since the show and felt like she knew her already.  Everyone else would be easy after the de facto matriarch of the family.  And of course, Cullen would be there with her, likely just as nervous since he hadn’t seen his family in years.  His alarm was already set for the morning; knowing him, he’d be up and paranoid about missing their flight hours before they needed to be at the airport, so they’d have time to pack if she fell asleep now.

She decided not to fight it – she was too comfortable to move anyway.  Closing her eyes, she relaxed further against Cullen as he ran his hand up and down her side. 

“Move in with me,” he said suddenly behind her.  Talia shifted a little, sure she couldn’t have heard right, and turned to look at him.  He moved to sit up on one elbow, those amber eyes soft as he smiled. 

“Move in with me,” he repeated. “I was going to wait to ask until Satinalia, but I… I can’t wait any longer.” 

"Oh," she said, surprised, and his face fell. 

"That's… not what I thought you'd say." 

Talia shook herself quickly, eager to avoid that disappointed puppy look he got.  "It's not a no, it's just…"  She looked away, fingers slipping from his to pick at her nails.  "I wanted to tell you… Alistair's office offered me a job.  In Denerim." 

"Oh," he echoed.  She could hear the quiet uncertainty in his voice. 

"It wouldn't be ideal, I know," she added quickly, looking up again. "But neither is me living in Val Royeaux and living here, so it'd be a little closer, at least?  And I'd be close to my brother, and my dog could stay with me again since I'd have a place to keep him when I visited, and…"  She trailed off.  This wasn't how she wanted to tell him -- she'd been planning on waiting until after Satinalia, when they were both comfortable and content before she messed everything up. 

"Oh," he repeated, and she hated herself for causing that look on his face. 

"I don't have to take it."  She didn't even know if she wanted to take it, she just knew she had to have a job.  And a place to live.  And him, sometimes it seemed like she needed him just to breathe, and Maker she needed him to say _something_. 

"I didn't mean that," he said after a pause.  "I just… I'm surprised."  He sat up all the way on the couch so his legs hung off and rubbed the back of his neck. 

They lapsed into silence again. 

After a solid two minutes without speaking, Talia scooted closer to him on the couch and gently bumped her shoulder into his.  "This isn't what I pictured," she murmured.  "I knew it wasn't going to be an easy conversation, but this is… so much worse."  She could feel her eyes watering and tried not to blink. 

"Oh, Tali, come here," he said quickly, his voice breaking a little.  He put his arm around her and pulled her close, and she in turn slid into his lap to bury her face against his neck.  "We'll figure it out." 

"Promise?"  She fought back the burning sensation in her nose.  This wasn't supposed to be so complicated. 

"Always."  He kissed the side of her head. 

"I really can say no," she insisted, keeping her face pressed into him so he couldn't see her tears. 

"Hey."  Shifting back so he could see her, Cullen pressed his forehead against hers.  One hand rose to wipe the tears from her cheek.  "No matter what, I'm not going anywhere. We'll get through this." 

She smiled.  "Still like me tomorrow?" 

The corner of his mouth quirked up.  "Still love you tomorrow."  He adjusted his arms around her and stood, lifting her up with him.  Talia squealed and wrapped her legs around his waist. 

"Cullen!" 

"We're going to bed," he announced, heading toward the gold and silver wrapped door.  "And we aren't going to worry about where we live or how hard this is or anything else." 

"Who are you and what have you done with my boyfriend?"  She managed through the tears welling up again.  It was rare to see him so openly playful, and she knew it was hard for him to overcome the anxiety that must be eating through his chest. 

Carefully he deposited her on the bed and lay down beside her.  "I want you to be happy," he told her seriously. 

She touched his cheek.  "I want us to be happy," she replied, and her heart clenched to see his smile at the word 'us.'  "Long distance just sucks.  I know we have a future, it's just… hard to see right now." 

"We will figure it out."  Cullen leaned in and pressed a long, warm kiss to her lips.  "I love you." 

"I love you too," she answered, wiggling closer to sling a leg over his hips.  "Maybe just a little longer on the long distance thing?" 

"Anything for you," he said, kissing her again, and their conversation fell off into kisses and touches and the sweet siren song of falling asleep in each other's arms. 


	3. Chapter 3

Cullen turned into Mia's driveway and shut the car off.  For a long moment, they sat together in silence.  They'd both stayed away from the topic of their relationship since Cullen asked her to move in with him, including through an awkward conversation with an over-eager flight attendant.  Neither had any desire to start it again now. 

Besides, Talia had more immediate concerns weighing her down, like the prospect of meeting his entire family.  She caught his eye and nodded toward the house, giving it a dubious look.  "Are you sure they're going to like me?" 

That smile quirked the corner of his mouth.  "They're going to love you." 

"You sure?" 

"I promise."  He reached over and squeezed her leg.  Her fingers searched for his and held tight. "What happened?  You weren't worried before." 

"I know, it's just… different being here, you know?" 

"I know, love," he said gently, pulling her close to kiss her hair.  “I know.”  His voice trembled just a little under his bravado, and Talia idly wondered if he was just as nervous as she.  Certainly he might be – he’d gone to visit Mia a few months ago just after the babies were born, but he hadn’t seen his other siblings in years, Rosalie in nearly a decade. 

Sitting here thinking about it was probably only making it worse for him Talia realized, and that was the last thing she wanted. 

She pulled her hand away and unbuckled her seatbelt.  A look of confusion flickered across Cullen's face before she was crowding him against the driver's side door, hands already dug into his coat collar as she kissed him.  He gasped just a little under her assault, enough for her to thrust her tongue into his mouth, and then he was grabbing her just as eagerly. 

They both groaned into the kiss when Talia nipped his lower lip, tugging it just a little before diving back in to suck on his tongue.  Cullen fumbled one arm around her, big hand splayed across her back to stabilize her in the cramped front seat, and swallowed the shameless noise she made as he claimed her lips again.    

She let out a yelp against him as his hand found its way to the top of her jeans and slid down, fingers cold as he cupped her ass and hauled her into his lap. Straddling him in the front of their rental car was perhaps not the most comfortable place to do this; Talia could feel the gearshift digging into her hip, and one leg stretched awkwardly behind her.  She didn't care.  Cullen's mouth was hot and demanding beneath hers, and she could hear him groaning under the rasp of their winter coats rubbing together. 

Maker, she wanted him. 

He did too, if his hips wriggling fruitlessly under her were any indication.  But she could feel the moment he remembered where they were, his hands stilling and his muscles tensing even though he still thrust his tongue along hers with that rough, warm slide that drove her crazy. 

Talia broke the kiss, trailing little brushes of her lips and tongue down his throat until she couldn't reach any further.  When she sat back finally, smiling, Cullen's eyes looked a little glassy.  That anxious glint he'd had was gone, replaced by pupils blown wide with want. 

He studied her for a second before he managed, "Maker, what was that for?" 

"I love you," she answered, a smirk tugging on her lips, and he smiled fondly. 

"I love you too."  They grinned at each other a moment before both turned to inspect the house.  Cullen blew out a breath.  "We should go in." 

"Let's go then."  She leaned over and kissed his cheek, smiling to herself that he already had stubble again, and they got out of the car. 

The driveway crunched under their feet as they maneuvered their bags toward the porch.  Cullen flashed her a grin as he rang the bell, careful not to knock over the snow shovel sitting at the ready.  Talia didn’t even have time to be nervous before someone flung the door open and barreled into her with a shout of her name. 

"Maker, Mia, don't smother her," she heard Cullen grumble before another, deeper, voice said, "You have no idea how excited she's been to meet your girl, Cullen." 

"I can't help it," the woman hugging her squealed, giving her a lasting squeeze before stepping back.  "I have talked to you and seen you so many times, and Cully's never brought a girl home before!"  Those same brown eyes -- Rutherford eyes, they must be -- sparkled out of the smiling, excited face of Cullen's older sister.  "I'm so happy to meet you." 

Almost as an afterthought, Mia stuck out her hand, her smile wider than ever.  "I'm Mia." 

"I'm sure she figured that out, Mi," the other man -- Owen -- muttered, and Talia glanced up at him to see him grinning almost as wide as his wife, though his was hidden behind a beard. 

"I'm happy to be here," Talia managed at last, shifting her bag so she could shake Mia's hand.  "It seems like I know you already between the phone calls and all of Cullen's stories." 

"Nothing bad, I hope," Mia said, blushing just like her brother.  Cullen reached over and tugged the end of her ponytail. 

"You going to say hi to me at all?" 

His sister swatted him on the arm, and Talia couldn't help her snort of laughter.  Behind them, Owen grinned as well.  "Don't you start already, Cully," Mia said before grabbing her brother in an enthusiastic hug.  Mia was shorter than Talia expected, and Cullen had to bend a little to reach her, but there was no mistaking the happiness that radiated from the siblings. 

"Take your bag?"  Owen offered, reaching toward Talia, and she shifted her attention to Mia's husband. 

"Oh, I'm so sorry," she managed, blushing.  "I’m Talia."  She extended her hand, and he shook it solemnly, though the twinkle in his eye suggested that if she didn't look so traumatized, he too might have hugged her in greeting. 

"Owen," he said, a bit of an afterthought.  "Glad to meet you." 

He hefted Talia's bag over his shoulder as Mia started chatting away about dinners and decorations and Rosie will be here soon and wouldn't Talia like to hold one of the twins? 

"Give her a chance to breath, Mia," Cullen laughed, gently herding his sister into the house behind her husband.  

"Oh, Cullen, don't be like that," she said, twisting to swat him again.  "She should have the full Satinalia experience!" 

"Andraste preserve us," Talia heard him mutter before the door swung shut behind them. 

Mia sent them upstairs to the spare bedroom almost immediately, not even giving them a chance to shrug off their coats.  "Go! Get settled, and come right back, there's cooking to be done!"

Behind her, Owen laughed.  "Maybe one of us should show them around the house, Mi," he suggested, and Mia looked flabbergasted that she'd forgotten for a split second before a baby's wail unfurled through the house. 

"Oh, shite," she said conversationally.  "O, can you show them? I'll get… whichever one that is."  She darted off, wiping her hands on her jeans as she went. 

Owen's smile grew.  "We better make this fast before the other one wakes up too.  They're never awake without each other for long."  He stepped between Talia and Cullen to lead them through the house. 

"How old are they again?"  Talia asked as she followed him. 

"14 weeks," he answered.  "Oh right… um, about three months, give or take." 

Behind her, she heard Cullen mutter as he nearly tripped.  "Have you been able to sleep since?"  He sounded tired at the prospect, like he couldn't imagine getting less sleep than he already did. 

They started up the stairs.  "Not really no," Owen replied, and Talia smiled.  Despite that, the man looked happy -- as much as she could tell, what with the beard and having just met him and all.   As if hearing her thoughts, he added, "It's worth it though." 

Before Talia could ask anything else, he opened a door and stepped out of the way.  "This is the spare.  Bathroom's down the hall to your left.  Should be hangers in the closet if you need them."  Downstairs, another baby's cries joined the fray.  Owen passed Talia her bag.  "Come down whenever, we'll be here." 

"Thanks," Talia said.  "We won't be long." 

He nodded as he closed the door behind him and headed back down the stairs.  They put their stuff down, and Talia unzipped her coat, shrugging it off and tossing it on the armchair in the corner.  Lifting her arms, she stretched, and Cullen choose that moment to slide behind her and wrap himself around her. 

"So," he said, kissing the back of her neck.  "What do you think?" 

Talia twisted around to face him.  "It's a little like getting hit with a freight train," she murmured, and Cullen's laugh rumbled through her.  "Are you all right? I know you had a headache on the plane." 

"I'm fine," he told her, keeping her close.  "I'm just glad you're here.  I don't know if I could do this without you." 

She ran one hand along his chest until she found the zipper to his coat.  "You'll never have to," she replied softly. 

"I'd… like that," he said, voice nearly a whisper, and Talia realized what she'd just said.  Warmth filled her chest as she recognized how true it was, that she would stand beside this man forever. 

"I love you," she whispered, gently tugging on his zipper.  "So much." 

Cullen maneuvered out of his coat and let it fall behind him, arms coming back up quickly to encircle her.  "I love you too.  I want…"  He didn't finish, instead dropping his head to kiss her, lips already apart and seeking as she opened to him.  She pressed the length of her body against his as they kissed, the world beyond the guest room fading. 

"We'll figure it out, Cullen," she said, breaking from him just enough to force the words out.  "I promise."  He didn't answer, only kissed her again and backed her up toward the bed.  When her knees bumped it, she let herself fall, and Cullen tumbled down with her. 

"This probably isn't what Mia meant when she said to get settled," Talia laughed between kisses.  Cullen ignored her in favor of licking a white-hot line up her throat to nip at her earlobe.  "Cullen!" 

"I don't care," he rumbled. 

"Oh good, me neither."  She nipped his lip as he moved back to kiss her, tongues sliding hot and thick together as once again, everything else fell away. 

Like in the car, Cullen shoved one hand down the back of her jeans to grab her ass, yanking her tight against his hips.  Her hand wandered down to the crotch of his jeans and squeezed the bulge she found there, and he groaned, rolling his hips down in search of her heat.  Talia shifted so she could wrap her legs around him, and that, of all things, made him pause. 

"Much as I'd, uh, like to," Cullen managed, his lips still brushing hers as he spoke.  "Mia _will_ send a search party if we don't go back downstairs." 

Talia leaned back and arched an eyebrow at him.  "Are you sure?"  She knew he could hear the tease in her voice. 

"Maker's breath, no," he said and plunged back down to claim her lips.  One hand plucked at her shirt.  "Take this off so I can touch you." 

Before Talia could reply, they heard the front door slam and a voice shout, "Mia! I'm here!"

They froze. 

Above her, Cullen closed his eyes and groaned. 

"That's probably Rosie," he said, leaning his forehead against hers in surrender.  "She always had a penchant for interrupting." 

Talia smiled up at him and kissed him swiftly.  "Now that's a story I want to hear." 

"Please no," he replied, rolling off of her. 

"No promises!"  She teased, climbing up and combing her fingers through her hair.  Behind her, Cullen watched, waiting, that same wanting look in his eyes.  She turned and grabbed his hand, and he complied, climbing off the bed after her. 

"All right then," he muttered, though he didn't let go of her hand and instead pulled her close against him. 

"Cullen," she insisted, pushing reluctantly at his arms.  "Come on, let's go see her." 

"Brace yourself," he muttered as she intertwined their fingers.

"I've got you for that," she laughed, and he hugged her fiercely for just a moment before they headed downstairs. 


	4. Chapter 4

A shout of "Cully!" was all the warning they got before a tall, blonde blur hugged him, jumping up and down in her excitement.  Talia tried not to laugh as she caught Cullen's wide-eyed look over his little sister's shoulder. 

"Rosie," he managed through the vice-like grip she had around his chest.  "It's good to see you."  

"It's been so long, Cully, what the hell?"  His sister demanded when she finally let him go.  She didn't wait for an answer before turning to Talia.  "You must be the girl from the reality show.  Hi, I'm Rosalie, but everyone calls me Rosie."  She grabbed Talia's extended hand and pulled her into a hug. 

"Nice to meet you," Talia squeaked, and she heard Cullen's laughter mix with that low rumble she was beginning to associate with Owen. 

"Don't smother her, Rosie," she heard Mia say.  "Cully gets very upset."  

Rosalie let go but kept one arm wrapped around Talia's shoulders.  "You're the one who writes _Comings & Goings_, right?" 

"Uh, yes, why?"  It was unusual for someone to ask about her column; Talia wasn't particularly proud that she was basically a paparazzi, and lately she was even less plugged in given her search for a new job. 

Rosie didn't give her time to ponder this.  Instead, she squealed loud enough to pop one of Talia's eardrums and hugged her again.  "That's my favorite thing to read!! I love your magazine, and your stories are always the best ones!" 

Talia briefly considered backing away slowly before she saw the soft smile on Cullen's face.  With a deep breath, she smiled at his sister. 

"Did you see the one about the end of the show?"  It had been a favorite of hers to write, all inside jokes and ridiculous stories about what the housemates had been doing in the months since. 

"Oh, yes! I loved hearing more about Dorian and Iron Bull, they're so cute together!" 

A sudden grin nearly split her face in two.  "Right? Dorian's one of my best friends now, so I hear all the gory details." 

Rosie slung her arm through Talia's elbow and pulled her toward the kitchen.  "Tell me everything!" 

The group moved into Mia's open kitchen, where a Satinalia feast was still in the languorous preparation stage.  She and Rosie settled at the table, Rosie's mouth already open to ask a thousand more questions, but Mia beat them to it. 

"Talk all you want, but I need help to make this happen," she announced.  "You'll have to talk and work." 

"Slave driver," Rosie muttered, flashing Talia a smile, but she got up anyway.  Talia moved to follow her only to find Owen standing in front of her holding a bundle of blankets. 

"Don't you get up," he said, eyes twinkling.  Confused, Talia sank back into the chair, and Owen gently passed her what turned out to be one of the twins.  "Think you can hold her for a while?"

"Um," Talia answered, looking down into the baby's face.  Its tiny eyes were open and roving, one tiny hand splayed across its face.  "Yes?" 

"You'll be fine," Mia called from across the kitchen.  "She's just fussy."  

Talia glanced back down.  The baby was indeed the girl -- she was wrapped in a pink and yellow blanket, a little purple bow stuck to her bald head.  "Um, okay." 

"Good lady," Owen said, clapping her on the shoulder before walking away.  "When the boy wakes up, I'll make sure you get him too." 

"I don't know if that's…"  She trailed off, knowing her expression looked terrified.  Babies were not her thing. 

Cullen crouched down in front of her.  He smiled warmly and looked down at his niece, hand trailing across the crown of her head.  "Hello, Gracie," he said softly.  To Talia's surprise, the baby gurgled and smiled back as she tried to catch one of Cullen's fingers in her tiny fist.  He pretended to try to get free before he turned to smile up at her. 

"You okay?" he asked her quietly, and Talia gave him the best smile she could. 

"I think so," she replied, and he chuckled. 

"Gracie is pretty easy," he told her, wiggling his fingers and watching as his niece grabbed for them.  "At least, she was when I was here last.  Less prone to upset than her brother." 

"That's for sure," Owen called.  Talia glanced up to find both Mia and Owen watching them.  Mia smiled.  

“Eaen was a little more colicky than her," she explained.  "But they're both good now.  Wait til he's up again, you can't hold him like that."  She nodded toward Gracie, who was lying in the crook of Talia's arm. 

"There's more than one way to hold a baby?" 

"You have no idea," Mia called over one shoulder as she turned her attention back to a truly enormous turkey. 

In her arms, the baby started fussing, little cries and grunts escaping the blankets.  Talia's eyes went wide.  "Cullen, what do I do?" 

His eyes were just as wide.  "I… don't know," he admitted.  "They always took her when she started making that noise."  Where just moments before he'd been so calm, suddenly now he looked more than a little alarmed.  Talia nearly laughed out loud -- she'd been so intimidated by holding an infant that she'd forgotten that Cullen knew just as little about them as she. 

"Try bouncing her," Owen called.

"Always listening, those new parents," Cullen muttered. 

Talia didn't reply, too busy trying to bounce the baby in her arms the right amount to settle her back down.  Fortunately, she didn't seem legitimately upset, and within moments she was back to cooing and playing with her own fingers. 

"Look at that," Cullen said, pushing himself to his feet.  He tucked his hand under her chin and lifted it to kiss her. 

"Pure luck," Talia said, stifling her laughter.  She wasn't honestly sure she knew what she'd done to calm the little girl down. 

"When you two are done flirting," Mia called.  "I could use someone to dice veggies for tonight." 

The corner of Cullen's mouth tugged up.  "I believe she's talking to me," he said, leaning down and pressing another kiss to Talia's lips.  "Shout if you need anything." 

"I will," she promised.  He walked away, and she watched as Owen handed him a knife and directed him toward a mountain of green beans and sweet potatoes.  He looked so comfortable, so calm and happy in this environment.  Smiles graced his face far more than she'd ever seen before, and those lines so often dug into his forehead had already eased.  

And his family! They'd been there for all of an hour it seemed, and already they'd pulled her in and welcomed her as though it were the most natural thing in the world.  She couldn’t remember a time in her life when family hadn’t meant conflict and stress, yet here…

Across the room, Rosie flicked a handful of water at Cullen, who yelped and threw a green bean back at his little sister.  Within seconds, he had ducked behind the counter to hide from flying ice cubes courtesy of Owen while Mia tried to snap him with a towel. 

Talia couldn’t help her smile. 

The Rutherford clan wasn’t without their issues and arguments, she knew, but it was hard to picture them as bitter and conniving as most of her brothers when they were all red-faced and collapsing with laughter. 

What she wouldn't give to have a home here, where Cullen could always laugh so easily and look so happy, and she could always feel so safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. I didn't abandon this, but obviously it is far past the holidays and this is meant as some holiday fluff. It kinda got away from me though, as I'm dealing w/ some serious anxiety issues and since writing is how I deal, there's a lot more angsty stuff here than I intended. Sorry! *shrugs* 
> 
> Point is, it's not the holidays anymore but I'm going to keep right on posting this story :) Thanks for reading!


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